A Not So Merry Christmas
by annasaurusss
Summary: Bella Swan's Christmas is anything but merry. Can her best friend, Edward Cullen, help her forget? All human, lemon. I don't own anything Twilight-related, it's all SMeyers.


He heard it before he saw her.

He heard the raised voice, the breaking of glass and the unmistakable splash of gin as it was propelled against the wall. He heard the lock of the front door click into place as the door was silently shut in an effort to ward off any unwanted attention from the neighborhood, and the quiet wails that couldn't be mistaken for anyone other than his neighbor and best friend since infanthood, Bella Swan.

He wasn't surprised. It was Christmas after all. Christmas at the Swans had stopped being a merry celebration three long years ago, but what surprised Edward Cullen was how heartbroken he was, even after those years, to hear the sounds of a one-sided verbal battle between Bella and her grief-stricken father. He had been drinking again, this Edward was sure of.

December 25th was the anniversary of Renee Swan's death.

Charlie Swan always made sure the night ended in a catastrophe, drinking himself into a gin-induced oblivion, often leaving Bella to pick up the pieces of her once lively but now broken home. Edward heard the lumping of furniture as it was overturned, the increasing decibel of volume radiating from their television, all signs of another Christmas ending in Bella's despair. For the last two Christmas evenings, Edward did nothing but sit and watch Bella cry into her mother's homemade quilt on her front porch, wishing more than anything that Bella would allow him to comfort her. He'd invited her to spend Christmas with his own family, Carlisle and Esme hot on his heels to offer their agreement, but Bella refused, never willing to intrude, never willing to let anyone know just how much she suffered on a day that was supposed to be filled with joy and love, and family. Bella was just too proud to admit that her home, and whole word, was falling apart as she watched, helpless in her teenage years to do anything but will and wish for things to get better. For gin to lose the taste and attraction her father harbored for it, to somehow, some way, find the path she knew her mother had made for her, now sullied with fog and the dirt of unhappiness.

Tonight wasn't any different. There Bella was, as predictable as the rain in Forks, sitting on the wooden swing on her porch, wrapped in that old ratty quilt with her feet tucked under her. Standing at his front window, Edward knew he couldn't stand another year watching his best friend, the only girl that had ever been able to capture his eye, and his heart, spend Christmas miserable, cold, and alone.

Edward shrugged his green military jacket on, waved a sign of reassurance to his parents, who were no strangers to how Bella spent her Christmas evenings, and opened the front door of his house. He took the few easy steps through the snow that led his house to Bella's. Bella didn't hear, or see him approach, as he took the steps of her porch and stopped in front of her.

"Bella." It was a whisper, a plea.

Bella's eyes opened and settled on the boy in front of her, filled with confusion, loss, and sadness.

"Edward." She cleared her throat, dormant and lacking of words, but filled with the build-up of her silence and sobs. "Hey. I was just getting a breath of fresh air. The heat is on so high, and it gets so s-stuffy-"

"Bella, stop." Edward took the remaining steps forward and rested his palm at the apple of her cheek, Bella subconsciously leaning into his touch. It felt good to be touched, to be acknowledged. It didn't happen enough, and when it did, she embraced it. "I know why you're out here."

"Edward, you don't understand-" she was cut off once again, with Edward's thumb pressed softly against her bottom lip.

"I just wanted to say that I have to give you my present. The thing is, it's in my room, so you'll have to come inside to get it." He wouldn't be deterred, she knew that. There was nothing but determination in his voice; no pity, no sympathy, just understanding and longing to comfort.

"Fine. But only for a few minutes. I have to get back." She gestured with her hand towards the front door, where little could be heard over the third consecutive rerun of _A Christmas Story_ playing that day.

"A few minutes. I promise." Edward said with that crooked smile of his, infamous amongst the girls at Forks High who pined for his attention. A smile reserved for the teasing of his siblings and the attempt to win Bella's heart. The former was much more easily accomplished, Edward found. He held out his hand for her, which she took with one last second of hesitation before he pulled her up, gesturing for her to leave her mother's old quilt on the swing as he led her across the road to his own house, a sharp contrast to her barely decorated one. She had heard the laughing and the Christmas music all day with jealousy, wishing more than anything her mother was still alive so that they could return to their own days of happy and joy-filled Christmases. A wish that was impossible to fulfill.

Edward opened the front door to the Cullen house, his hand still tugging Bella's firmly along with him, and stopped a few feet away from his parents so that they could acknowledge their presence.

"Oh hello, Bella. Merry Christmas." Esme Cullen, beautiful in her velvet purple dress and Santa Claus hat. Renee used to wear a hat just like that, and Bella had to hold back the tears that were brimmed her eyes, threatening to escape should she be less cautious.

"Merry Christmas to you, too. It's great to see you guys." Bella murmured shyly, her eyes suddenly finding purchase in her snow boots.

"It's great to see you too, Bella. Why don't you come join us, Esme has just brought out the turkey for dinner." Carlisle insisted, seeing the sadness in her eyes. Edward wasn't the only one desperate to save this poor girl from her broken, sad life.

"I wouldn't want to impose. It's a day for f-family." Bella's voice broke, her eyes gaining the glaze that was signature of tears.

"Don't be ridiculous, Bells. You are family." Emmett said from Carlisle's right, his eyes bright and eyeing the turkey with hunger.

"Come on, Bella. We'll get your present right after, I promise." Edward whispered against her ear, and Bella shivered. Bella heard the love in his voice, but shook it off as nothing but years and a lifetime of friendship. She wouldn't allow herself to hope that he longed for her in the same way that she did. It just wasn't possible.

"Okay. Only for a few minutes, though. I promised Edward I'd let him give me his present and that I'd head out. I really do have to get back." Bella said, fidgeting with the sleeve of her midnight blue cashmere sweater, one Edward never failed to notice did wonders for her curves. With his hand on the small of her back, he led her to the usually vacant seat next to his. The Cullens always left a plate that, in case Edward was successful in persuading Bella to join them for Christmas dinner, remained empty for her to accept. It wasn't until this year that Edward had been successful. It hadn't been until this year that Charlie's yells and sputters got so bad that Bella couldn't help but welcome the peace and quiet of the Cullen's home over the racket of her own home.

"Thank you Lord, for blessing us with this meal on Christmas. That our family is safe, and healthy, and that we have a good, sturdy roof over our heads. That Carlisle and I have wonderful children that continue to make us proud, and whom we love so dearly. And Bella, who we are delighted-"

"Edward, I'll pick the present up a-another time. I'm s-sorry, and thank you for inviting me to stay but I just c-can't-" Bella's chair slid out noisily as she fled towards the front door.

"Mom!" Edward whispered in a raised voice, pushing his own chair back, Christmas dinner forgotten as he raced to catch Bella.

"I'm sorry. I didn't even realize. It's just, I say it every year and," Esme buried her head in her hands, willing the tears away as her heart broke for the motherless girl that she had now driven away from her home because of her own carelessness, and love.

"Mom, it's okay. It was a slip, really. Bella will be fine, I'm sure." Alice said from Esme's left, placing a comforting hand on her back, and pulling her to her for a hug. But she wasn't sure. She saw, more than anyone, what Renee's death had done to Bella. But she knew Edward could handle this. If anyone could bring a smile on Bella's face, it was Edward. She just wished his words and comfort were enough this time.

"Bella, please don't go. Please." Edward begged, gripping Bella firmly by the waist. He buried his face in her hair, and placed a kiss on her neck through the long, vanilla scented chestnut locks.

"I c-can't Edward. I've ruined your family's Christmas and it's best if I just go. Charlie needs me." Bella sobbed, her voice shaking violently as her chest heaved.

"No. I need you to stay here. We need you to stay here." Edward said, his hands wandering from their place at her hips to her stomach, pulling her to his chest and securing his hold on her.

"I can't go back in there. I can't face them. They'll be so ashamed."

Edward used his grip on Bella's hips to spin her so that she faced him. One hand still firmly planted at her side, his other drifted to her face where he cupped her cheek and brushed away tears with the pad of his thumb.

"Don't think that. Don't you ever think that. We could never, ever be ashamed of you. We love you. I love you." The last was whispered in an attempt for Bella not to hear, but she did, and her heart swelled. Swelled like it never had before. She had sworn it had stopped feeling. Until now.

"At least come up to my room so that I can give you that present." Bella nodded her head, acquiescing to his method of distraction with her bottom lip caught between her teeth. Edward placed a gentle kiss on her cheek and took her hand to lead her up the stairs to his bedroom. His parents and siblings were long forgotten at the dinner table.

As soon as his bedroom door was opened, he gripped Bella's sides once again and led her to a sitting position at the end of his bed, his eyes running over the image of her laid out, bare, with her long brown waves splayed in a halo around her on his navy sheets. He shook his head to rid himself of the image before he walked to his desk and retrieved the light blue jewelry box from his drawer. Edward turned and slowly walked toward Bella, her eyes lighting in recognition and shaking her head furiously, refusing to accept such a gift.

"No. You're going to accept this." Edward said in understanding. He would lavish her, and this one time, she would not argue. Edward opened the box and retrieved the most beautiful silver necklace, a heart-shaped pendant dangling from one end. He brushed her hair to one side and closed the necklace, kissing the clasp before facing her. Bella took the pendant in between her thumb and forefinger, and ran her thumb along the bottom of the heart, halting when she felt the unmistakable feeling of something engraved. She flipped the pendant so that the words were facing her, and gasped at the words inscribed in the silver.

_You have my heart._

Bella eyes shot to Edward's, who tried desperately to look away to avoid Bella's look of rejection, which he was sure would be facing him if he were to meet her eyes. Bella lunged forward, her hand firmly grabbing the back of Edward's neck before bringing his lips to hers in a searing kiss.

"I love you." She whispered against Edward's lips, and his mouth opened in a gasp of surprise, Bella's tongue instantly taking advantage and slipping to meet his. His hands on her sides, he rubbed her ribcage before allowing one hand to drift to the base of her neck and bring her lips away from his, tipping her head back so that he could plant her neck with wet, delicate kisses.

"I love you. I love you. I love you." Edward whispered against her skin, which was now littered with goosebumps.

"Oh. Edward." Bella moaned, her hands tangling in Edward's hair, tugging so that she could once again connect her lips with his.

"Fuck Bella. You have no idea how long I've waited to hear you say those words. I couldn't have even dreamed how good my heart feels right now. It's beating like crazy." Edward said, and he removed one of Bella's hands and placed it on his chest, directly above his heart, where she felt that it was, in fact, beating erratically.

"I love you, Edward. I love you so much." Bella said, and she tugged on the collared of Edward's sweater before pulling him down, both bodies landing with a soft thump on his bed. Edward ran his hands down Bella's body to the backside of her jean-clad thigh, before hitching it against his hip.

"Edward, your parents, they're downstairs." Edward stopped her with another firm kiss on her lips, his own molding, and teasing, and nibbling.

"They won't mind. They know how much I've waited for this. For you." Edward hand ran up to her stomach, where he traced light, lazy circles on the bare skin just below her sweater. He brought his hand higher, lifting the shirt but a centimeter before looking into her eyes for reassurance.

"Can I?" He whispered. Bella nodded her head and he slowly brought the fabric to just below her bra before placing a kiss between her ribs.

"You taste like vanilla." Edward whispered, before he ran his hands up higher, Bella lifting herself so that he could bring the sweater over her head. Edward's hands immediately shot to her back, hovering over the clasp of her bra as he placed feather-light kisses on her neck. His hands gently undid the clasp, and roamed to the straps of the offending article of clothing before pulling them down to her elbows. He used the straps to remove the bra completely, but as he motioned to bring Bella back down to lie on the bed, she grasped at his back in an effort to hide herself.

"Edward, I'm not, I'm not a C cup or anything, you'll be disappointed." Bella whispered against his chest.

"Bella. Bella, look at me. _Bella._" He urged, finally able to loosen her grip on him and lift her face so that her eyes met his. "Don't ever imply you're a disappointment. You're perfect and I love you just the way you are."

Bella allowed him to lay her down on the bed, and his breath caught in his throat as he took in Bella, laid half-bare on his bed, her dusky pink nipples contrasted against her milky white skin.

"Bella, you're so beautiful. How could you ever think you don't measure up? You're, you're breathtaking." Edward said in awe, leaning his head to place a light kiss on her nipple before blowing hot air gently across it. Bella moaned with an arch of her back, offering more of her skin to Edward's hungry mouth.

"Mmm." Edward's moan was muffled by its place on Bella's skin, and he licked, and he bit and he sucked until he felt Bella's legs wrap around his waist. He could feel the heat radiating from her through her jeans, and he could feel himself harden in his own.

"Fuck Bella. I can feel how excited you are." His hand drifted from its place at her ribcage to the crotch of her jeans, his eyes a shade darker with passion as he was met with dampness.

"Jesus fucking Christ." He mumbled. "You've soaked through your jeans Bella." Bella could hear the excitement in his voice, and any embarrassment she thought would result from her own excitement melted.

"And you're hard." Bella said as she cupped Edward through his jeans, earning a curse from his mouth across the skin of her collarbone. He placed a gentle kiss there before he nuzzled his head into her neck. "And so big."

"I'm only like this for you. God, every time I'm around you, I'm hard. You're so fucking sexy." Edward moaned as his hands went to the button of her jeans, no longer needing her permission as he undid it, his fingers looping in her waistband. He brought her jeans down her legs, softly caressing her exposed skin as he went. He caught a flash of her light pink cotton panties, a match to her bra, and his eyes slipped close. Once he had the jeans at her ankles, he kissed along her legs, stopping only at the apex between her legs before he placed a kiss through the fabric of her panties at the spot he knew would drive her crazy. Bella moaned, and her legs instinctively spread before him, Edward's hands having a mind of their own as they ran along the inside of her thighs. He used them to hoist himself up, buried in the sheets on either side of her body as he brought his lips to the skin under her ear, placing a light kiss there.

"Edward, I love you. You-you're making me forget. It feels so good to forget." Bella moaned.

"I love you, Bella. And I never want to see you crying on your porch alone again, okay? I'll drag you over here every year if I have to. Hell, I'll do it every day. Why don't you just move in and we can save ourselves both the trouble?" Edward joked, but Bella couldn't shake the sincerity that laced his tone. He continued to lavish her neck with kisses as his hands tugged the material of her panties down her legs. He brought his body up once more, his hands at her thighs, parting her legs.

"Oh fuck." His eyes glowed as they took in the bare triangle between her legs, his lips salivating at the thought of kissing, tasting her there. He crawled down the bed until his head was between her knees before spreading her legs further, his hand coming forward to brush its knuckles against her wet lips. Bella's toes dug into the sheets as her back arched.

"I just need," Edward started, but the sentence was lost as his tongue darted out to collect some of the wetness before him. Bella's sharp intake of air confirmed Edward's suspicions and his tongue became bold as it ran along her slit.

"Vanilla." Edward whispered, his lips closing around the bud that he knew would drive her crazy before sucking softly.

"Oh fuck." Bella cried, still very aware of his parents just downstairs. Edward's tongue continued to probe as his lips closed around more sensitive skin. Bella's toes began to curl and sink into his sheets before her back arched, her breathing labored as she struggled to hold in her scream as Edward held her down with his palm splayed across her stomach.

"Edward. Fuck, that felt so good." Bella moaned, her hand sweeping across her sweaty forehead, where her bangs matted across her wet skin.

"For me, too. I love watching you come. It's like nothing I've ever seen before." Edward kissed her between her legs as she recovered before bringing his body up, his lips brushing lightly against hers. Bella's hands wound around his back as she pressed him to her chest, deepening the kiss. Her tongue swept into his mouth, tasting herself on his tongue. She moaned as she wrapped her legs tightly around his waist, feeling him straining against the denim of his jeans. Edward winced, his body begging to be released.

"Oh, no. You're still wearing clothes." Bella's bottom lip came out in a pout, and she pushed Edward off of her. He frowned at the contact, but was immediately silenced as Bella used her strength to switch their positions so that she was now straddling his waist. She shimmied down his body until she could feel his hardened length and grinded her hips lightly against his. Edward bucked involuntarily as his hands flew to Bella's hips, attempting to halt her bold movements.

"Fuck Bella, if you don't stop that I'll come in like, ten seconds." Edward moaned.

"Well we can't have that now, can we? We absolutely cannot have you coming anywhere but in me." Bella whispered as she pulled Edward's shirt by the hem and over his head.

"Jesus Christ, you're going to kill me. I'm going to die an unsatisfied man."

"Unsatisfied? No, I don't think that will do." Bella quipped, smirking as her fingers undid the button of his jeans. She hooked her fingers into the waistband of his boxers and brought both them and his jeans down, admiring his length as it became exposed. Edward hissed as the cool air of his bedroom made contact with his heated, throbbing skin. As Bella crawled up to meet him, she placed a light kiss on the tip of his member before settling her legs back on either side of him. She hovered over his body as her lips lightly met his, but Edward's arms splayed across her back and crushed her to him in a hug.

"Bella, are you sure about this? I don't want you to regret doing this." Edward asked, concern and anticipation in his tone.

"I could never regret this, Edward, I love you." Bella said, her eyes earnestly seeking his for his reassurance. When he breathed a strained sigh of relief, Bella took him in her hand and lightly stroked him, earning a hiss of pleasure to escape from his mouth. Bella brought her lips back down to his in a kiss as she slid herself onto him, slowly.

"Fuck Bella, don't move." Edward moaned, as his hands gripped her hips in an effort to halt her movements. "I need a second."

"I need you, Edward. Please." Edward looked into her eyes, the playfulness of earlier gone, replaced by need and anxiety. She needed this. She needed to forget and because he loved her, he would help her. His hands slowly guided her, up and down, up and down, on top of him. He watched the way the lamp on his bedside table illuminated her body in the otherwise darkness of his room, the way her breasts heaved as the pace of her breathing increased, her head thrown back as the ends of her long mahogany hair tickled the skin of his thighs. He would never forget this night, this very moment, when he finally claimed her as his.

"Mine." He voiced his thoughts, his hands roaming to cup her breasts as his thumbs rubbed against her nipples.

"Yours. Always yours." Bella moaned, her hands on Edward's chest as her hips increased the rhythm of their movements above him. She knew they were both close, his throbbing, and the twisting in her stomach both indications they were both only seconds away from reaching the edge.

"Bella, I'm close. So close." Edward moaned, bringing her down to him and capturing her lips in a kiss, his hand splayed on her back as he began to thrust into her, faster and harder.

"Fuck Edward, yes." Bella moaned. "Come with me." Edward's insides soared as he felt Bella explode around him, his release following only seconds behind. Bella collapsed against his chest and it was only then that he felt her breathing start to even.

"That was amazing." Bella whispered, kissing the spot above Edward's heart before pushing off him slightly."

"Where are you going?" Edward asked lazily, his arm trapping her to him.

"I'm going to go get something to clean us up. I'd rather not cuddle in a sticky mess, thank you." Bella joked, and Edward was thankful for the easy banter as she kissed him before leaping up and walking to the bathroom adjacent to his bedroom. He admired how she walked casually, naked, and he heard the tap before he saw Bella return with a wet washcloth. She was beautiful and she was his. She climbed back on top of him and ran her hand, covered with the cloth, along his length to clean him, then discarded it on the floor along with their clothes.

"I love you Bella. With everything that I am, I love you." Edward whispered as Bellansettled into his side, her head resting in the crook of his arm as he held her tightly to him.

"I love you too Edward." Bella brought the hand that was tracing lazy circles on her breast to hers and intertwined them, placing a kiss on his. "Why has it taken so long for us to figure it out?"

"I've always known, Bella. I've just, I don't know, it's been hard for me to believe someone like you could ever love someone like me. It's kind of unbelievable, even know." Edward's eyes bore into hers.

"Edward, I've never loved anyone like you. You make me so happy, like it's three years ago, and Renee is still here, and everything is okay again. Only you make me feel like that. Like there's hope." Bella whispered, tears making tracks down her cheeks.

"Hey, Bella, don't cry."

"They're happy tears, I promise. For once, they're happy tears." Bella said, her lips pressing a soft kiss to his as he brought his comforter over both of them. "Happy tears."

"Merry Christmas Bella. I love you."

"Merry Christmas Edward." Bella whispered before sleep overcame them both.


End file.
